sun burn

so ive had my fair share of sun burns over the years. in fact, it seems as if every time i go out into the sun i get burned, initially. i have had the full body, cant move or be touched anywhere or i might explode sunburn, where my whole body turned lobster red including my face- minus the circle around my eyes where i had my sunglasses on.. attractive. i have had the day late sunburn where u come inside and you look in the mirror and think "i have a fabulous tan" and then the next day your chest starts itching like crazy and u look down to see little white bumps that look like they could be from a biblical plague.

let me just take a second to describe the sunburn i have and how i got it. right now my stomach is burned, which is fine because that always evens outBUT after a day in the sun, i have red thighs. and not only do i have bright red thighs... but there are tiny spots of un-burned-ness on them. HOW did this happen you may ask? how is it that i have transformed into a confused cheetah with white spots and red skin? i will answer. my fucking dad. it was very windy on the beach today and he thought it would be funny to , instead of just handing me the sunscreen like i asked, stand down wind and spray TOWARDS me. in my GENERAL DIRECTION. letting the wind protect me. (side note the sunscreen isnt the white stuff u rub in its the sport stuff that just sprays on). im like no dad hand me the sunscreen so i can cover all my body here and not have awkward streaks of burned and white. "ha ha lucy its funny". fine dad your immmature and annoying i just wont fight with you on this one. you can imagine my suprise when i got up to go home and saw all the little spots where the sun screen sprayed through the wind had made contact with my body. great job dad. im a spotted wonder. this little dad piece is dedicated to maya.

another thing that is totally unacceptable (aside from behaving like a child at 46) is when people think that they are invisible in their cars. hello there are windows. everyone can see. if you want to pick ur nose all day then tint them shits up cause ur just causing a public disturbance.

heres a question for you followers: what is it about florida that makes it number one destination for old white people? they dont go to the beach, therers absolutely no shopping, all the food is take out/ generic bad food... wouldnt u want to spend your last days somewhere cool and chique like paris or hong kong?